Me Time

I'm consumed with everything Anderson.  I love him to pieces.  He's my joy and my life and I just like to be around him.  He makes me smile and giddy.   I wish I could be with him all the time.  When I'm not with him I still think about him.  I worry about his milestones.  I worry about his constant runny nose.  I worry about day care.  I worry about everything!  Plus work is busy, life is busy...

However, I need to give myself permission to do activities just for me.  I hate to do anything that means leaving Anderson (I know he is still well cared for) ... because I miss him.   Then guilt settles in and I don't have any fun.   

It's funny, I don't even remember life before him.  I know life is not the same anymore (and it never will be), but I struggle to "allow myself" some time for "me".  What did I do with myself before Anderson?  I know that I need to take care of myself and have some "me time"..or my thoughts on ALL Anderson ALL the time will become all too consuming and my brain will be fried and I will be an unhappy and unproductive mama!!  

I found this wonderful post that focuses on this subject and I am so glad I found it.  I love Simply Seleta for the beatiful design posts and her writing.  Today, she hit home with me.   Here is a short blurb that I want to contanstantly remind myself with...

... he explained to me that in order for us to be our best selves, we need to NURTURE ourselves.  Take time to relax, regroup, do something we’re passionate about.  I told him I felt selfish and guilty when I did certain things for myself – mainly things that take time away from my family.  He made it very clear that it is not selfish to take CARE of yourself.  Funny, I try to make time for things like that but somehow they don’t always happen quite like I plan.  

So this Thursday I am joining the girls to celebrate a good friend's birthday with a manicure, pedicure, lunch and some shopping.  It should be fun and I will NOT feel guilty.  This means I am taking a vacation day from work...A vacation day that I am taking without Anderson.   A day for me...I feel selfish.  But I feel I need it.  I'm sure we will spend part of the day talking about the kiddos, so I will still think about Anderson.  Plus my friends are moms and give great advice (and often tell me to stop worrying about everything!  They also build my confidence by pointing out how great Anderson is and what a great job I have done so far.  They are the best).   I just have to shut off the guilt.    

It's ok to focus on me...and not feel guilty about it.  Repeat...
I will be repeating this mantra all week.  

It's ok to focus on me...and not feel guilty about it.  

Repeat after me.