Almost One

I'm doing my best to savor my baby.  He is turning one in a few days.  Can you believe it?

I like to watch him.  I just like to look at him.  I feel like he grows overnight.  I swear he is bigger sometimes the next day.  Last night I worked late and as I was driving home I began to get teary eyed.   What is wrong with me?  I missed him.  I hadn't seen him in 11 hours and I started to tear up because I missed him so much.  Oh jeese.  I am a sap. 

When I drove into the driveway.  There was A hanging out with VoVo and daddy.  Daddy had him on a new outdoor rug and A was getting use to the texture.  He chose to just lie down and look up at the sky (so cute).  I immediately wanted to just scoop him up and shower him with kisses!  But I contained myself.  A's big smile was enough to tie me over.  I gave Daddy a kiss first (I read somewhere that we as new moms should always kiss Daddy first - should I still consider myself a "new mom") then I kissed my mom (who took the day off to be with my baby ALL day).  Then I wanted to just squeeze him.  But you know what.  He wanted Daddy.  Go figure.  Burst my bubble.   

I love you my little guy.  You are slowly taking over my entire heart.  Actually you already have.  You own it.  You owned it as soon as I found out I was pregnant.  Then it became solidified when you were born (nearly a year ago).  And NOW?  Now, I'm just walking around with baby Anderson hearts all over my thoughts, feelings and emotions.  I love you to the moon and back, multiple times.  Happy almost first birthday.

Weekend Plans???

Today is Friday before a long weekend.  I am so ready for some down time...although I'm not sure how much time will be resting.  I do hope to enjoy the great weather with my little guys (and my big guy if he slows down to enjoy it!!).   We are in full party prep mode AND vacation mode.  I just want to enjoy my little munchkin during his last week as a baby.  MY little baby is turning one and I can't help but feel a bit nostalgic - thinking of where we were this time last year.  Makes my heart smile and makes me swell with love and pride.  He will be one in a weeks time and he is already looking so grown up.  He looks like a little man getting ready to start school (ok, maybe not, but he's getting so big!).  I want to savor all those moments with my little guy.  

I also need to do my master to do lists and get prepared for the big party (which mostly means I am cleaning the house and cooking).    BUT I will enjoy my little guy as well. 

Have a great weekend.  Thank you for all the troops who sacrifice so much for our barely recognized/appreciated freedoms. 

Beijinhos.  Kisses

Planning the big bash

The planning continues...

We are definitely going with the Barnyard theme. So much fun!!   

I have all these plans and ideas but seeing as we are three weeks away...I need to start limiting my ideas and just acting on my thoughts/plans!!  I have too much searching for projects, but never actually do any of them (although I want to).   For example, I wanted to do animal cupcakes.  Realistically will I have time?  I am just adding stess to myself on a day that doesn't warrant additional stress. 

The invites are out and I am happy on how they came out!

Now I have to go order plates, hats, napkins, tablecloths…favors.   We have some contenders but I can't decide.  Sometimes I get ahead of myself with all the details. Indecision is my middle name. Time to get cracking with the details....

According to a Party Checklist I found (from other organized bloggers) I am feeling way behind.  There is still so much to do according to Another Checklist  I found!
It will all come together in the end. I love seeing all the parties from other bloggers. Some go all out and some keep it simple. I'm thinking we are going to be in the middle. Just the size of the party will keep it from being simple...but I don't want to go over board either. I can't wait!! (What? Really?).

I'm trying to remember this party is for Anderson and for his Mommy and Daddy! We have survived and thrived this past year...it's time to celebrate! 

I also can't believe Anderson is a year old already (or going to be soon). I am sad and happy at the same time. I really cherished this past year and I really tried to in live in the moment with him…(and I let other things slip like house cleaning, other obligations, gym, etc).  I don't regret any of it.  Not much I would do differently (of course there are some things but overall I am happy).  Overall its been wonderful being a mom. What a bitter sweet time...watching the last momemts of infantcy, and the new adventures of toddlerhood emerging.   I love Anderson so much!!  

Anderson is 11 Months Old Today

Happy Monthly Birthday to my sweet boy.  I love him more than I can ever put on paper.  I find myself saying I love you to the moon and back!! 

I will update with pictures and updates.  One day. 

Perfect Princess - the Royal Wedding

Today was so much fun watching a fairy tale unfold.  I loved the dress, the veil ... so sophisticated.  She looked beautiful!!  Cheers to them!! 

I still remember Princess Diana and Prince Charles' wedding.  This is history in the making.  When we look back on this day I will remember my little guy was 10 months (almost 11) old! 

They look so beautiful and happy.  I hope the fairy tale holds true and they live happily ever after... 

Shaking and Moving

An update on Anderson is needed since so much has been going on with him ...

This past week I have seen lots of changes in Little A.  He is definitely scooting around better while on his belly.  He pivots easily and rotates and moves backwards...he's doing this with ease while on his belly (he does complain after a little while but he's handling being on his belly a lot more).  He is still not creeping forward (while on his belly).  This week he has gone from being on his belly to sitting!!   It is so cute to watch.  He concentrates so hard while he is doing it and then when he gets to sitting he looks to me like -  see I told I could do it!!  I'm so proud.  

He also can go from sitting to down to his belly - pretty controlled too.  While down on his belly he is rolling around more and more.  He is even lifting his belly off the floor and he puts his hands and knees in crawling position!!  Last weekend (4/16/11) he even rocked back and forth on all fours!!  OMG, what progress.  Seems like overnight.     

In the last few weeks (April), A has been rolling a lot in his bed when he is getting ready to nap.  He rolls from side to side, on to his back and puts his head down and lifts his butt up!!  So cute.  Yesterday was the first time he has slept on his belly!  I was so scared, but he got himself comfortable in that position and there he stayed.  He took an hour an half nap.  I noticed his morning naps are getting longer and I am sure that is because he is up so many times a night.  I really miss my baby sleeping all night with no wake ups.  He use to do it but now he is not.  I'm not sure why.  He wakes up crying and it isn't just once, last night was three times.  It makes for a restless night and I'm sure that is why he is taking longer naps in the morning?  I wish I could take naps in the morning too :)  I thought it was his cold (nasal congestion), or his cough or his ear infection or his teething or a 10 month wakeful...but it's been three weeks already and it's getting old.  He's learning some bad habbits and I want to nip it in the bud.  We will make some changes this weekend and see if that helps and we will have to regroup.

We lowered his crib a week or so ago because he is pulling up to standing from a sitting position.  Again, very cute to watch and he looks to us for confirmation and support once he is done.  He was wobbly at first but now he is pretty sturdy.  He even lets go of one hand and can easily stay standing.  He fixes his feet to be in a comfortable stance - cute!  Yesterday he even let go of both hands and stood alone for a second.  Awesome.  Little A is getting so big and growing.

Last Friday we got an evaluation from his day care providers.  They see him twice a week for about 12 hours, even less some times.  They were pretty blunt with the evaluation and said that certain skills are not at the same level as other infants his age.  Of course it is difficult to read.  I was upset and worried that Anderson could have some serious cognitive issues that need to be looked into.  My first thought was what if something is wrong with him - how can I help him?? 

I was disappointed that the evaluation did not offer any constructive suggestions or offer any suggestions on how to to see improvements in Little A's development.  It was just a summary of where he is at a particular time - 10 months.  Maybe some parents do not want suggestions???  There was not a single bit of insight given.  No exercise suggestions, no outlook to the future, no elaboration.  Very weak for a professional organization that caterers to children and that has been around for 20 years.   

I would have been devastated had it not been for the continued support of Early Intervention and the Occupational Therapist currently helping Anderson with his torticollis.  She has been super helpful with Anderson and, even more so, she has been super helpful to me.  She "teaches" me exercises to work on with Anderson.  She's been helping with Anderson's neck, (he favors one side) and she has been working on his crawling and gross motor skills.  She has been excellent and I notice a big change him.  If I had gotten that review from daycare without knowing what I know because of EI and OT, I would have been so much more distraught/disappointed/sad.

So April has been a whirlwind month so far.  It is flying by.  I feel exhausted by worry, overwhelmed with the speed of life, bouts of guilt, insecure and mentally drained.  I hope things change.  Actually I'm almost certain they will...

Tuesday, Not so good

Monday night to Tuesday was bad.  Anderson cried a lot.  It was a different cry, a heavy, I'm in pain kind of cry.  He wanted to cling to Daddy.  Poor Daddy had some pain with his back to begin with, but with the baby clinging he was feeling some pain.  There was no comforting Little A.  My poor little guy.  We tried peek a boo...that would work for a minute but then the tears would well up again.  That's it going to the doctor. 

With the hacking cough, the restless nights, lose of appetite (he didn't want any supper) and a bit of a wheeze going on with his breathing...I was a worried mess for my little guy. 

Tuesday first thing, I called the doctor.  We went he has an ear infection.  The cough does not seem to be in his lungs so it is most likely viral (per the doctor).  He probably keeps on re-catching the virus...that is what the doctor said.  So now he is on more antibiotics and we got the nebulizer again for the breathing.  She did warn us that this newer, stronger medication will most likely cause diarrhea. 

I felt better knowing that he is now on his way to feeling better.  Last night he slept and slept and no wake ups!!  Yeah.  He also slept til 9am, making me very late for work.  I don't care though, I just want him to feel better. 

The nebulizer and the train didn't quite work out the same as last time!!  NOPE, he cried in hysterics.  He does not like the train.  Maybe he will come around. 

Get better little buddy. 

Monday morning fresh!

Not sure what it is...but today seems like a whole new day and things are looking brighter. 

Actually I do know what it is.  Sleep. 

Little A slept through the night.  Thank you God.  I am so happy. 

Last week was a rough week.  Especially with Little A's sleep.  I did a little surfing and come to find out there is a 9-10 month wakeful...so that is what I hope it was and that it is OVER. 

Last week, he would wake up at least two times a night and cry and cry and there was no sleeping for anyone.  But yesterday, Sunday night to Monday...he slept from 8:30 to 7.  I feel happier, like a new person. 

Last week was also rough due to our daycare issues, Little A's constant cough that never goes away and my cough that is lingering.  Plus A is starting to be more difficult with his eating.  He's also started to shake his head no (and I could swear I saw his eyes roll back one time).  And, of course, there is the constant worry of him reaching his milestones.  I want to decide to let go and "not worry" and be rational...babies develop at different times  He will develop at his pace (crawling, standing, finger foods etc), but I can't turn the worry button off and I wonder "what if" something is really wrong.  So much pressure! There is vacation planning, paying bills, budgeting, worrying about other family members' health, getting our taxes done and party planning (or lack thereof) and I am exhausted...even without the sleep issues.  Oh, and working full time too.   

But we have a fresh new start this week....here's hoping it goes better. 

Plus today is suppose to be nice out...we may even hit 70! 

Baby Sitter and day care woohs...

Happy Thursday. Not so much.

My wonderful, wonderful friend who was watching Anderson has gotten a job. I miss her terribly. I loved knowing she was with Anderson. She loves him to pieces...there is such joy in knowing that others love my baby as well. They got along great too. Bummer. It was great while it lasted. She watched him from October through March...so nice.

Now we need to find coverage for the days she watched him. My mom (bless her soul) has changed her hours at work. She will work on Saturday and take off Monday. She will have Anderson all day Monday! We have already done it twice already and it is WONDERFUL. I leave and I don't have to rush A anywhere. It's really comforting knowing that A is home, with all his toys and that grandma has him (and is spoiling him). If only she could drop Thursday too...but no such luck (and I shouldn't push my luck).

So I am looking for Thursday. I have signed up Anderson for Emergency daycare in Boston. That is a hike to bring him in...but I need to find an alternative and none are coming my way. What to do? His current day care has no room on Thursdays. Bummer. They will not have room until June 20. I am now looking for a new day care that includes Thursdays, but haven't had any luck. Plus I'm not sure I want to have Anderson go through that transition. What to do???

So last Thursday (March 31) was Anderson's first day in Boston. The drive in went fine. He fell asleep. The ride on the train was great!! Drop off...that is were it went down hill. He started to cry as soon as the girl picked him up. He got pretty upset and it tore my heart to pieces. I had to fill out paperwork and they tried to entertain him but he just wanted to come to me. I tried to get him to calm down, but nothing worked. So I had 'mom up', hold myself together (barely) and told them that if he continued like this for very long after I left to give me a call and I will come and get him. They assured me that he would be fine. But I was not fine. I cried all the way to the office!! I even had to shut my door and get myself together once I arrived. Within an hour, I got an email. Anderson was happy as could be eating his puffs!! They emailed me to let me know that he was doing great. He was looking out the window and smiling at all the cars and trucks. Made my day!!!

The ride home was ok, he was a trooper. Night time??? Well that was a different story. He was super clingy. He wanted only mama or dada. We went to walking night at my friends house and he wanted none of it. He didn't want to be with anyone, didn't want anyone to hold him or play with him. He was a crab and so fussy!! We left early and got him right to bed. It seemed like A was crabby all weekend long. Could it be the daycare left him so upset? Could it be teething? What could it be????

Fast forward one week to today. What a production this morning. Anderson didn't sleep well last night (that means no one slept well, especially me and I am feeling worn down and over dramatic).

The emergency back up day care was full! Oh no! Regular day care was full...so I was without a sitter. Now I had to figure something else out and I am stressed!! I need to decide what to do. As I am contemplating my choices (all not very good) the phone rings and emergency day care in Boston has a cancelation so there is room.

So we make the long trek to Boston. He does great on the ride in. Falls asleep. Then the trains are delayed and we need to switch trains because there was a problem with the one we are on. Another delay, we wait and wait and I am wondering why I am even bothering. The train gets packed like sardines. Anderson just looks and looks. He was taking in his surroundings. Thank god he did not cry. A ride that takes 1/2 hour took over an hour. More stress. Ugh.

Then the dreaded drop off....at 11 am. I decide to take him out of the car seat in the hall way and hold him for a few minutes before going in.  I just chatted with him and told him that he was going to have fun today.  It just stared all around.  So curious.  The drop off was not so bad, he just grunted and looked at me. Break my heart (but only for a second). Thank god it wasn't like last week (I still can here his wailing). The only saving grace of the day so far...
I waited to hear if he would cry, around the corner where he couldn't see me and he didn't. What a trooper. He is awesome. I'm the one who is a wimp.

Lets just hope the ride home goes smoothly.

Happy Thursday...I don't think so for the next 10 weeks. ???? We will see.

 

 

Let the Planning Begin

We have started to plan Anderson's first birthday bash (and by we I mean ME). It's going to be big. Bigger than what I would like, but it's a day to celebrate and it is hard to cut out people from the list and not go overboard. I wish we could have two parties...one for family and one for friends...but that sounds like double the work.

I am going to try and make it about Anderson and celebrating his first year ... and me surviving his first year!! I take being his Mommy so serious. I take parenting Anderson seriously. I take shaping who he will become seriously...this will be the outlet for fun. I want to have fun with the baby and create some happy memories!!

I just know the baby will be overwhelmed with so much stimulation and will most likely cry. It is bound to happen, even for social babies (which Anderson is NOT, we are going through separation anxiety and stranger anxiety, BIG time). That is my biggest dilemma right now. We will have one quiet corner of the party to take him to once in a while (plus grandma has already said she would hold him! We will make sure if she gets too stimulated to take him to a quiet spot).

As for themes. I am leaning on Barnyard Bash...lots of cows, pigs, horses...and a big ole' picnic. My only wish is to make the cake. I have never made a cake before (decorated one for a party I mean)...so we will see how much time is left over for me to make a cake (I doubt it will happen).

I don't want to go overboard, with games and decorations and such...but I do want to have some splashes of fun everywhere and have a cohesive look.

There will definitely be lots of photos of the little guy...I've taken a photo every single day since he was born! 

Stay tuned for more updates!!  I need to look at this as fun - NOT stress over the work and decisions!  Fun Fun Fun.    I should start working on the photo banner NOW, since I already feel behind.